Return of the funny face!

Hello to anyone out there who is still following this blog!
I am really, truly, amazingly grateful to anyone who is reading this. I know disappearing from my blog is really uncool and some lovely people have even sent me emails worrying about me and for that I am truly sorry.

I never intended to abandon this blog. I just kept putting off posting because of writers block and it became more and more intimidating to come back. Then there were some changes in my life that have prevented or put me off blogging.

Firstly my health problems have become worse and as a result physical appearance has changed quite a bit. I have put on quite a bit of weight due to chronic fatigue combined with a broken ankle stopping me from exercising. Also my dermatilomania has worsened and at some points I was picking my face so much it was covered in little wounds and I was ashamed to take photos of makeup when my face was so scabby.

I have, very occaisionally, worked as a character/ugly model for the last couple of years. My social phobia is still extremely bad and so you'd think modelling would be the worst job ever but actually it's not bad. However most of the time I am still just not able to it and haven't worked in about a year.
Here's the best thing I've been part of:



(Did you spot me?)

I also made a (terrible) music video for one of my favourite bands!



I've also continued learning new crafts such as knitting and corsetry and will be starting a new blog regarding those sorts of things soon for anyone interested. There have also been some changes in my personal life but I'm not going to go into at this point.

But through all this I've still been buying stupid amounts of makeup that I do not need, and I will show it all to you soon!

Again thank you to anyone reading this, I hope I can make my extended absence up to you.

Ps. If you're seeing a hideous background of 'Image hosted by Tripod' I'm sorry! My background image link has broken and I am useless at html so my attempts to fix it may well fail.

Old Photo of the day - Lilly Idol

This is from when I was about 17 (and fully punked up in my handmade Seditionaries repro shirt and terribly drawn on eyebrows) on my way to a Billy Idol concert. Ahh those were the days.

 Also you can now  Follow my blog with Bloglovin should you want to :)

Various chatter

Hullo everyone, just a quick word. I've started up my hosiery blog! Please don't feel pressured to follow if you don't want to, but please do head over and just take a look at the lovely header Claire made for me :)

Also I've decided to do some series' of looks to get me back on the creative makeup game (I have a few in mind but if you have any suggestions please let me know!) does anyone think my looks are good enough to be interested in me making some tutorials, or should I just post looks?

Proper post is coming up later, right now I'm gonna get started replying to comments :)

Long and Winding post

 Under the cut is a lot of whinging including  reasons for my lack of posting and commenting.

(also i tried to upload some photos for a post today. Blogger seems to have changed the uploader and it doesn't work at all for me, anyone else having this problem)

My disability

I got a comment on my blog yesterday that upset me a bit. It was asking about my social phobia, the commenter didn't understand how i could truly have it when from what she'd seen in my blog i seemed to have quite an active social life.

I realise now that if you don't have anxiety yourself, or know someone who has it, it can be very difficult to understand. And I guess if you only know me online (which is basically all of my followers) i do come across as quite a cheerful, gregarious person. I'm sorry to the original commenter that i overreacted a bit, i know you didn't mean anything offensive by it. It's just difficult to me to have to prove my disability and when you asked why i was living off the government it just sort of seemed you were implying that i was lying about my disability. I understand you weren't now and just didn't understand.

So for anyone who's interested here's a short explanation of my disability and how it affects me.

Various Things

Thanks again to everyone who sent me kind wishes regarding Millie, you're all so kind.

I see i've nearly got 150 followers now, which is absolutely amazing and mind boggling to me, i can't believe so many people would be interested in reading my little blog! If anyone didn't know i'm already in the middle of a giveaway, so please feel free to enter if you haven't already :)
http://lillianfunnyface.blogspot.com/2010/02/lush-giveaway-time.html

You won't be seeing any hauls from me for a good while, at least i hope you won't. Last week my bank decided to charge me £100 in charges, as i'd made a mistake and gone just a tiny bit over my overdraft (it's a long story but basically i was led to believe my overdraft was bigger than it is, so it's sort of my fault but it was a genuine mistake and not just me being reckless with money. Though frankly that wouldn't be too hard to imagine). I don't have a job due to my social phobia so my only income comes from the government (disability benefits), so i had to borrow some money from my Mum to pay the charge and get back into the black. So anyway i am on a HUGE no-buy for as long as possible to pay back Mum and store some savings.
This is easier said than done. I hate to say it as it sounds like i'm making it up but i genuinely believe i am addicted to shopping. Whenever i am feeling down or something bad has happened i go and buy something and it really does make me feel better physically and mentally. On sunday after Millie died i went and bought the Urban Decay Alice palette even though i knew i shouldn't because i am so poor. Not really regretting it though because i really, really wanted it. If you've seen confessions of a shopaholic... yeah thats me. Also that girl had some outfits i would have given an arm for!

If for some reason you want to feed my habit (or if i remain good help me get out of debt :P) i will be posting some new bits in my blog sale this week, or if you were interested in seeing what i do please check out my Etsy for clothes or paintings:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/fiddlefaddle
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Lillipopsshop

Anyway enough shameless begging!

At first i was worrying a bit as hauls make up quite a bit of my blog, but then i realised this could be really good as i can concentrate on reviews of older/favourite products and do some of the posts and videos you have requested.

As well as Millie's death and financial worries i have been incredibly upset by recent EastEnders (anyone else watch?) my favourite character ever ever ever died and, well i know it's silly, i can't help bring upset to the point of tears about it. Watching these soaps sucks you in and you begin to feel you know the characters and get really involved and then they kill them in horrible ways and you see the other characters having to grieve for them and it's just heartbreaking sometimes. Yes, i am pathetic :P

Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar

So you may have noticed i haven't been posting as much as usual (or maybe you haven't noticed seeing as i am certainly not the most prolific of bloggers!) Anyway the reason for behind my short absent is this:

:D
If you've been a follower of my blog for awhile you may remember that a few months before christmas i rescued a Daschund but was unable to keep him as he kept attacking me :( I still miss him and really hope he found a nice home and didn't have any mental problems as we feared.
Anyway yesterday i went with my Mummy up to Kent and we picked up this guy. He's a strange case, not quite as simple as buying a puppy (he's 5 months old, so still a puppy but not really young) but not a rescue either. He is the sweetest thing, gentle and playful and already very attached to me. I love him <3
So anyway i've been getting the house ready for him all week. This involved tidying my bedroom, which is a mammoth task! I may show photos of it now as i'm so proud it's clean :P
I've got a lot half written posts on the go, so don't worry, there will be lots of reviews, hauls, giveaways and other things coming up shortly :)

Poorly

Sorry if you've left me a comment or email in the last few days, i've been ill.
Nothing serious i'm glad to say, but my whole head aches, i've got a red raw throat and a cold and oddly i am tired all the time, even though i've probably had about 30 hours sleep in the last 2 days. Yesterday i stayed in bed up until about 5 o clock, then i went to see Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll, which was fabulous. Then i went back to bed straight afterwards.
Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll is a biopic of Ian Dury, who used to be one of my favourite singers when i was a 15 year old punk. It was a deeply emotional film and Andy Serkis was absolutely amazing as Ian. They also did an amazing job on his prosthetic or cgi wonky leg.
Also as i was poorly i wore sort-of trousers for the first time in about 8 years, doing up the fly made me feel so masculine, and then i put on my big stompy dr martens as i've been wearing them a lot during the snow. All this combined has made me really reminiscent of my old punky looks and i sort of want to return to it occaisionally, but it's difficult because i like being so feminine these days. I sort of want to bring that raw, grungey sexuality of the punk look to my fashion, but still in a girly way. No trousers, that's for sure. I do miss my mohawk though :P

I've added a few extra bits to my blog sales, please have a look: http://lillianfunnyface.blogspot.com/2010/01/blog-sale.html
http://lillianfunnyface.blogspot.com/2010/01/blog-sale-part-2.html
hopefully i'll be feeling better soon and can get the clothes and things up.
also i've added some new givaways to my list so check them out for more chances to win :D
http://lillianfunnyface.blogspot.com/2010/01/giveaways.html

Also here is a list of some reviews and things that should be coming up as soon as i stop being so rubbish!:

ELF studio line makeup
ELF studio line brushes
avon solutions winter skincare
Evil Shades haul and review
Spell cosmetics haul and review
Aromaleigh haul and review
Lime Crime vs TKB swatch photos
Benefit youre bluffing review

..whoa, i need to get my arse in gear! :P

Some art

This was made for my dad for christmas. It's the first time i've used acrylics in yonks and i really loved it, looks like there will be a lot of acrylic on canvas happening soon.


And this was a present for Claire's mum. I flocked the frame so it's all velvety :)


And now these are all sketches, character designs and so on for illustrations for a children's book i'm writing:

This is Visha, the roller skating bear.




The ring master.






Lulubelle the tight-rope walker:






And Pedro (the main character) the worlds largest elephant:

Ha ha, i can see from my last post that i quite need to bleach my moustache :P
I'm a bit fed up, i've made a few videos in the last couple of days, but used my Mum's camera as Claire's was full up. Annoyingly for some reason they transfer as quicktime files, which i can't edit on 'windows movie maker', my amazing editing programme.
Claire thinks she can convert them on her laptop, but it means it will take a while to get them up.
My Dad is hilarious, he's asked to borrow some scarlet nail polish to customise his converse with. He's over 60 years old! XD
Here is my Dog Minnie with my kiss print :)

Haute Mess Award

I wasn't exactly tagged for this, but Lulu over at Makeuploveer (http://lmdpassion.blogspot.com) tagged all her followers and I wanted to do it :P
7 facts about myself..

1. When i was very little i wanted to be a Lady farmer like my favourite character in a book, Sophie (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sophies-Adventures-Snail-Sophie-Hits/dp/1844289915/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1263344715&sr=8-1) before i realised Farmers usually have to raise animals for meat.

2. i have been a vegetarian since i was 7 years old.

3. I haven't worn a pair of trousers (excusing pajamas) in over 5 years

4. The first people i can remember fancying were Vivyan from the Young Ones:

and Dennis Pennis:


5. Last year I Won first prize in a kareoke competition singing one of my all time favourite songs, Sparks This Town aint big enough for the both of us. It was a special kareoke run by my friend Martin where comedians sing and then some of the audeince gets to as well. My friend Foz plays the guitar in the band.
you can see me here:
i was very, very drunk. Oh god the horror D: But still somehow i won!

6. I collect Mickey Mouse Ears. At the moment i have about 15.

7. My favourite artists are Peter Blake, Klimt, David Hockney, Lucian Freud and Dr Seuss.

Now i'm meant to tag 7 people, but seeing as i wasn't properly tag i feel it would be a bit unfair, so again i invite all of you to do this :):

My 'graduation' photo

I refused to go to my actual graduation celebration because of my social phobia. So my Mum and Dad insisted on having a sort of fake celebration in a park when we went out to celebrate the fact that i had actually graduated. Looking back on it it was quite a sweet idea, but at the time i absolutely freaked out because it was sprung on me as a surprise and i had been expecting a nice treat, not having my photo taken in a park full of people staring at me. I got so scared and panicked at the idea that i was in tears for about ten minutes before i finally managed to calm down and this picture was taken.



Not the most thrilling outfit or makeup, but i want to show off my amazing bunny shoes and you can't tell but the graduation cap has mickey mouse ears :)

Tomorrow it is my birthday! Hooray, people bring me gifts simply to celebrate the fact that 22 years ago i was born!
Tonight we went out to celebrate by eating at my favourite restaurant, Marine Ices, who do the worlds greatest tomato pasta and ice cream. I ate a hideous amount of food. Mmm food.
Today i've been taking a load of photos for upcoming posts, but the camera battery completely died before i managed to get them onto my computer. I'm hoping to get a new video up sometime this week (as well as quite a few written posts), i really enjoy making them but they somehow seem to take more effort than blog posts, even though they mean i don't have to take loads of photos of loads of products.
So next time i write i will be a whole year older! :D

Speaking of, i used to be very depressed around my birthdays because i had a Peter-Pan-like aversion to aging, wanting to be forever young and childlike. Now i am a lot better, looking forward to my new year of opportunities and so on that come with getting older. I think a big part of this has come from me having a lot of friends considerably older than myself nowadays. Not because of the obvious reason (compared to them i am young) but because i think 'wow, if i can accomplish half as much as ____ by his/her age i will be so happy' and i see how cool and fun and spontaneous and amazing people like my friends Foz and Mikey and Chris are and it just seems like age is completely irrelevant. I'm 22 and i can be friends with people who are 50 and that's wonderful and helps my self esteem by thinking that these wonderful people think i'm interesting and mature enough to be worth spending time with.

Also you get cake on your birthday *thumbs up*

It's got my name on it

Morgana Minerals have a new lipstick named 'Lillian'...
Something tells me a big haul is in the works!

Resolutions

I hope everyone had a really good new year! I had a bit of an odd one, just hanging around the house with fried and a bottle of vodka. It descended into a pre-teen game of truth or dare which then had Ian (the only boy in our group) being dresed up in drag, me having a glass of booze parcel-taped to my arm and everyone getting a bit too interested in everyone elses sexual history.
Today i woke up with my second hangover ever. It was horrible. I think i shall think carefully about drinking in the future, it makes the nights more interesting and easy but the repercussions are more horrible than i had imagined.

So i have some resolutions for the new year. Will i keep them? Honestly it's pretty doubtful, i'm rather useless at this sort of thing but they are all things designed to make my life easier and more fulfilling so i will try my very best.

1. Lose some weight. A boring and incredibly typical resolution. My reason is purely shallow, i don't care about my health or anything sensible i'm afraid to say, my reason is simply that this time last year i was at least 1 dress size smaller, and now i am too large for some of my clothes. I stil loe those clothes and it's sad to not be able to wear them.

2. Complete at least 1 painting/sculpture/illustration/piece of clothing a week. I NEED to get back into the swing of consistently starting and finishing things. I have so many 'talents' (if you can call them that) and the majority of the time they get put on the back burner or just forgotten about. i have so many half finished projects that i just need to turn my attention to for a few days to complete.

3. Sell Sell Sell! I have so much stuff in my house which i no longer need and am planning to sell but just haven't gotten around to it. Expect an epic blog sale of fashion/makeup/miscellanery soon, some stuff i'll be giving away. Stuff that doesn't sell here i will put onto ebay and anything that doesn't sell then will be taken to a charity shop. I need to just get it out of the house!
I will aso be putting more paintings/dolls/sculpture etc onto etsy. I figure the more i have out there the more likely it is i will make some money!

4. Save money. I'm not even gong to attempt to put myself on a spending ban, it just won't happen, but i will try my best to save at least a small amount of money a month.

5. Be as professional as possible with my art. As soon as possible i'm going to do a complete overhaul of my website, making it as original and exciting as possible, but still professional and easy to use. I'm also going to try and get any exhibitions possible. I'm trying to pursuade my friend Mikey to do a show wth me, not only doe (i think) our work go ogether really well, but he has lots of connections and will attract a lot of people :P

6. Wear more makeup! This might seem a bit of a silly one seeing as this is first and foremost a blog about my experiences with makeup but to be honest i don't feel i wear it enough. One of the reasons i started this blog is that from around the beginning of last year i stopped wearing as much fun and exciting makeup. Firstly i was so buy at college i would just run out of the house without bothering to spend any more time than was necessary. And while now i will put it on everytime i leave the hous i feel i have fallen into a bit of a rut. My look is always a bold lip with either plain eyes or eyeliner. I think this look is very flattering for me but have so many exciting coloured eyeshadows and so on and it does sadden me to see them sitting in my makeup box looking lonely and unloved. I used to be a lot more 'outrageous' with my looks as well, coloured eyebrows, rainbow eyeshadow, green blusher, drawn on monobrows etc etc and while some people still think my usual look is a bit 'out there' to me it just seems like an 'everyday' look and nothing special.

So I will be trying as hard as possible to stick to them, but in the highly likely event that i fail i'm not going to be hard on myself.
I've loved reading everyones end-of-year posts and hopefully i'll get my op products of 2009 up soon.
Happy New Year! xxx

Various pictures from a while ago.

Firstly here is one of the Elf coats i mentioned having to make for a friend:

It didn't fit me, so it looks really bad. Also in the poor lighting you cant see it but i sewed bells, sequins, beads and so on all over it :)

A plainish casual sailor outfit i liked:


here is my makeup, which i really liked, but my face looks rather demented:


And another days look:


And finally me and my girlfriend:

100th post!!

I hope you all had a great christmas!
Mine was partly very stressful as my grandma and aunty came up and they are now very old, frail and going senile, so it really added to the usual stress of christmas. Dinner was very tasty, but there were so many people my sister Lydia and i had to sit on our own at a ridiculously tiny table. It was hilarious. Imade the pudding and it was really delicious if i do say so myself. In the afternoon I stayed at home alone for a few hours while my mum and Lyd took grandma and aunty back to worthing, unfortunately for them my aunty vomited all over the car about half way there D:! However the evening was lovely, we watched eastenders and gavin and stacey and other tv and i was recieved a load of amazing presents!

I was thoroughly spoiled, especially by my mum and girlfriend! I'm going to post pictures of what i got soon.

Today my girlfriend came home so we had a second chirstmas celebration! She made dinner this time and it was amazing, she makes the best roast potatos in the world. And i spent the day mainly cuddling her and watching movies, as a christmas day should be spent.

Lyds ferrets were staying with us, they have a cage in the bath but sometimes we let them run free around the bathroom. Feargal (the big boy ferret) worked out how to open the cage by pushing his mighty nose against the opening thing at the top so we had to weight it down. Rikku (a small, shrimmpy girl) managed to climb into the toilet, yesterday Feargal put himself back into the cage to go back to bed! And today Rikku managed to knock a jug over and it smashed. <3 Beauties. They've gone home now and i already miss them and their weird smell.

On wednesday i'm having a christmas celebration with my friends, then thursday is new years, don't know what i'm doing though. On saturday i'm going to my friend Foz's party in Brighton and then it's my birthday a week today! I'm gonna do my best to continue posting regularly, as it makes me happy, but i may be absent until after my birthday. Having said that i've finished the illustrations for the book i'm working on and don't have any paintings that need finishing, so i do have a lot of free time. We'll see how it goes.

In other news i'm watching the remake of Day of the Triffids. I've been with it from the very start and it's about to finish. I honestly have no clue what is going on.

I just wanted to say thank you again to all of you reading this. i've been at this blog for about half a year now and it really is so rewarding and i just hope you are finding it a fun and interesting read. I'm planning on doing another giveaway soon and i hope i can keep you interested with my posts. If you have any requests or ideas for my posts i'd be delighted to hear them!

Hope everyone had a wonderful christmas, tell me what you got up to and your loot! :D

Mikey (repost from my other blog)

A while back i went to see my friend Mikey play a gig at a pop-up gallery in Putney.

This is Mikey:



(i helped make the video :P i made the little forest set he's in and on the day of filming i had to keep running back and forth between two rooms putting the track on for him to lip-synch to. My arm can be seen for about a second XD don't ask me what's going on with the weird psychadelic editing bits)



He is the most pretentious person i've ever met, flaky and frustrating beyond measure, arty to the point of nonsense and i love him.

To me there are few things better than watching a 42 year old man doing scissor kicks in a black glittery (possibly womans) catsuit singing to a backing track infront of a baffled crowd.

He is funny, smart, kind and really wonderful to have a conversation with. I wish i could spend more time with him, he's a great person to have as a friend/aquaintance.

It was Guy Fawkes night and my journey there was lovely as i could see fireworks bursting in the sky through the tube window.

I got to the gallery and was insantly completed intimdated by the many many cool, arty looking people milling around. I seemed to be the only person who came on their own and weren't actually connected to the gallery somehow. It was quite horrible. Some of the art up was very nice (someone had made a bunch of 2-D birds from pipe cleaners that were absolutely beautiful) but there was also a lot of stuff of the sort that makes people say 'its crap this modern art stuff, a child could do it!'.

Anyway Mikey played and that was good, except people kept talking over him and i could see his face crumpling with impotent rage. Also people kept pushing in front of me or just standing far too close and i began to feel panicy.
I'm not short by any means (im 5 foot 8) but for some reason whenever i am a crowd everyone seems to tower above me and i begin to feel very boxed in and feel invisible and yet at the same time i think everyone is looking at me in disdain.

After he finished playing i had planned to just leave without saying goodbye, because i feel like i am usually just bothering him. Unfortunately my plan went horribly wrong when i turned towards the door to discover a lot of the arty students (or indeed art students) were sitting on the floor right in front of the door.
I began to feel trapped and panicked horribly. For about 20 minutes i stood staring at a painting desperately trying to fend off tears and work out what i could do. You see in my head i was now trapped with no escape. I couldn't just walk past them. I feared them staring at me if i tried to go around them, and then there was the possibility that i could tread on someone or something important. I didn't know them so i couldn't ask them to move or even say 'excuse me'.

Eventually i began to hyperventilate and then had to go and find Mikey and get him to help me get out. How incredibly pathetic, i need someone's help to leave a room now! Anyway he was incredibly sweet about it and led me out and didn't make fun or anything. Afterwards he sent me some messages checking that i was ok and apologising that he couldn't do more to help me. While the experience was horrible it's really reaffirmed my friendship with him and in a way made me less ashamed to have this phobia. I can't help it and just need to be able to ask for help sometimes. And it was also nice because i was starting to think he didn't like me anymore.

Some FOTDs, a to-do list and secret santa :)

We have men in our house working on some damp. I have mainly been hiding in my bedroom, tidying it (which is a lengthy and dull process) so by the time i come out of hiding and get ready to go out the light is terrible. Still i thought i'd post some pictures of me from the last few days.

this was me on monday, going to my illustration course:

(my hair is TERRIBLE! D:)



The lips looked so much better in real life. I used Mac Magenta lip pencil and then Mac Funtabulous lip glass. It turned out an amaing fuscia-purple with bright blue diamonds!

And here are a few of me today. This was the best lighting in my house, and as you can see it was terrible! My eyes look green!


Funny face by name...


I'm irritated i couldn't get a good photoof my eye makeup. It wasn't anything particularly special but (if i do say so myself) i did a really good job of blending, something i am usually pretty terrible at.

And here i am wearing my beautiful new dress.

Looking at this photo i can see that i really, really need to wear a girdle under it! :P foldy-roll!

Here is my to-do list of reviews, to remind myself :P
ELF studio makeup line
ELF studio brushes
Sleek double ended lip colour
NYX haul
Collection 2000 glam crystals eyeliner
Is there anything else i've either bought or discussed in this blog that anyone would like to see a review for? :)

Also a lovely blogger, Sabrina, is running a Secret Santa for UK bloggers:
http://a-littleobsessed.blogspot.com/2009/11/secret-santa-please-read.html
I think it's a really sweet idea. The idea of sending each other presents seems a really nice way to unite bloggers :)

Phew

I've finally finished replying to everyone's comments.
I wanted to just thank you all so much for your support and kindness. Hopefully now the drama will be gone from my blog for a long time, but someone has been kind enough to say they will actually send me some samples of Lime Crime eyeshadows so i can see for myself just how similar (i.e. identical) they are to TKB wholesale mica, so i'm afraid this isn't quite the end!

I feel a bit silly now because i did let Mary's comments get to me.
Firstly, i actually am a bit self-concious of my weight at the moment because i've gone up a dress size since last year, so being called fat, turkey necked and so on by a perfect stranger was not pleasant anyway.
I was bullied pretty much throughout my whole life until i was 18 and went to art college. Firstly because i was fat and a boffin, then in high school because i was weird and liked different music, clothes, etc from everyone, and then in sixth-form (when i assumed most people might have grown out of such things) for being weird again. I have however been proud of myself because, no matter what people have said or done to me, i've been true to myself and never compromised or pretended to be anything i'm not, and i've acted with dignity and never sunk down to name calling in retaliation.
Also I have a mental illness, Social Phobia and Social Anxiety Disorder, that makes me constantly worry that i am going to be attacked in some way in social situations. It makes me incredibly paranoid about what people think of me. It's basically like being constantly incredibly shy. In public i am unable to speak or approach anyone, even people i know. When i first started blogging i was too shy to comment on anyones journals even, and making my first video was a huge step. I've also been suffering from depression for the last year (though that is mainly under control now).
Up until now everyone in the beauty community that i've encountered have been incredibly kind, supportive and encouraging. Even though i'm no real makeup artist, and certainly can't compare to many of the others out there, everyone has seemed genuinely interested and even thankful for my opinions. I can't tell you how much it means to me everytime i get a new follower here or a new subscriber on youtube. I've never been able to share my opinions in public before, but now through this community i feel i'm finally able to actually do something that might be helpful to other people, even if it is just as trivial as giving my thoughts on a lipstick.

So i guess this Mary thing just frightened me a bit, that maybe this world i'd been so enamoured with had an ugly side that would be just as cruel to me as the strangers who shout rude things at me in the street.

It also just hit me hard as, through the allegations about Lime Crime i have tried to be as fair and diplomatic to her as possible, even though she had personally insulted me in the past so i might have more reason than others to want to slander her name (I was in fact disgusted by some of the comments about Doe, particularly regarding her appearance and someone who said she was probably lying about being bi-polar. Those things had nothing to do with her product or business practices and was just purely nasty) and yet not only was Doe lumping me, and anyone else with legitimate complaints or worries about her company, in with people who were just viciously and rudely attacking. And then Mary decided to pick on me in particular, calling me a troll when all i have done is posted in my own blog and occaisionally posted a comment on the Examiner article.

I was also just disgusted that anyone could think that just because i am a bit plump i could not have any valid opinions on the matter! I know she was probably just saying it to be cruel, but from what she wrote it really seemed like she actually believed what she was saying, that i would just be jealous of Doe simply because she is thinner than me.

However i'm happy to say that i, genuinely, am not upset at all by her comments anymore. After reading them over (Doe has now deleted all the comments from or about Mary *eyeroll*) the absolute stupidity of her comments has hit me and now i find thw whole thing very funny! Especially how she claimed i was lying about being an artist, why on earth would i do that? What is there possibly for me to gain by it? It boggles my mind.
And yes, i am a bit larger than i would like to be, but it's really not very important in the grand scheme of things. I still think i'm attractive, and more importantly i am kind, fair, polite and have a good sense of humour (this is fast becoming a would like to meet!)

Anyway i just wanted to once again thank all of you. It has meant so much to see new friends willing to defend me and happy to listen fairly to what i have to say.

I'm preparing to do a giveaway just to say thank you for following me, so watch this space :)